That day, That day
When I lay down beside myself
In this feeling of pain, sadness
Scared, small, climbing, crawling
Towards the light
And it’s all that I see and
I’m tired and I’m right
And I’m wrong..

untuk mereka yang merasa terabaikan,
untuk mereka yang merasa ditinggalkan,
untuk mereka yang merasa lelah bertahan,
untuk mereka yang merasa hilang kepercayaan,
untuk mereka yang tak lagi duduk bersebelahan,

untuk mereka yang jatuh dan merasa tak ada pertolongan,
untuk mereka yang pergi tanpa alasan,
untuk mereka yang tak meninggalkan pesan,
untuk mereka yang berulang kali dikecewakan,
untuk mereka yang merasa tak ada yang perlu dipertahankan,

untuk mereka yang sekali lagi memberi kesempatan,
untuk mereka yang kembali berjalan bersisian,
untuk mereka yang telah mengulurkan tangan,
untuk mereka yang telah mengobati luka dengan perlahan,
untuk mereka yang bersedia memberikan sandaran,

untuk mereka yang memberi kebahagiaan,
untuk mereka yang turut merasakan kesedihan,
untuk mereka yang meninggalkan jejak dan kenangan,
untuk teman, teman-teman,
yang telah hilang maupun yang terus bertahan..

di sini

akan selalu ada kalian. 

what’s the point in playing music
when you no longer could even hear it?

what the point in painting
when you no longer could even see it? 

and what’s the point in living
..when you no longer could even enjoy it?

hari minggu yg ini agak berbeda dari hari minggu lainnya. biasanya hari minggu hampir selalu sy habiskan dengan tidur, main game, and doing nothing. tapi hari ini beda. entah karena pengaruh nonton 1 litre of tears ato emg sy nya lg ‘aneh’ aja, hr ini lebih bnyk kegiatan berguna yg sy lakukan. well, it’s not that useful but at least i’m not doing nothing like i used to.

bangun pagi lebih cepet dari biasanya. tetep siang sih, tp lebih cepet dr biasanya. that’s our point of interest. hehe. buka komputer, internetan bentar trus mandi. begitu selesai mandi, solat zuhur, trus makan. abis itu bingung mau ngapain. was gonna just do nothing but then i went to my computer, opened photoshop, and played with it a little bit. kmrn2 sy jarang banget nyentuh program ini berhubung lg ga ada ide. tp td lumayan, got three or four pieces worth showing in my gallery. have already put some, the other will come soon. kehabisan ide, sy kembali tergoda untuk doing nothing. entah itu tidur2an ga jelas ato cm dgrin musik smbl bengong2. but some forces made me took my violin and did a couple hour of practice. tried air from orchestral suite no.3 and canon in d. hmm. not bad. my teacher would be surprised i made some improvement. i hardly trained at home since i already got some specified days to do group practice. begitu selesai udah sore. got nothing better to do i decided to take a bath. after, out of nowhere i feel like i want to go outside. and so i went to one of the mall in bandung.

wandering around for some time until i decided to go buy some stationary stuff. finishes, was gonna go home but the i wandered in the clothing section and ended with two pieces of clothes. heh. i have to go asap or all of my savings will go down the drain. and then just on my way back, i paused for a second in front of a famous donut store there. usually i’d just pass it by but this time i decided to buy some. you may call me strange weird whatever, but i’ve never bought that donut by myself before. seriously. i think it’s a little bit pricey for a bunch of donut. this is my first time. not sure there’ll be a second though. but who knows. after that i went home. done some stuff and here i am.

it might not seem much compared to those who spent their time wisely with all those organizational activities but to me it’s one of my wise time-spending. you then might say, what’s wise in going out alone, spending out money for things you don’t actually need, etc etc? well, my ‘wise’ with your ‘wise’ is different then. to me, as long as i do what i want to do (other than doing nothing, yes ironically i consider that a ‘do’) and i got something out of it, whether it’s just personal satisfaction or a product of my doing, then it’s wise. what’s the point in studying when you did it with grumble and ramble.

but that’s for me. everybody got their own definition and standard of wise time-spending. none are wrong nor none are right. it’s personal matter and you’re just wasting your breath forcing your standard to other. either way, put good use to your time. it could be anything to you, but be sure to do it because you want to. and make sure you’re not gonna regret that.

boy, do i learn so much from that 1 litre of tears..

(aats. i ended up writing it in english. ya sudahlah ya.) 

"Time you enjoy wasted, is not wasted."